you know, I think I've started this new post about 5 different times and each time it looked different than the time before - UGH I hate it when I'm distracted to the point of not even being able to put my thoughts down on paper!!!!!
So, it's a cold, wintry Tuesday here in the mid-west. We got about 4 inches of snow overnight and my two boys (and the mom and dad) are LOVING IT! No school for them means being able to play and build snowmen and throw snowballs at each other and possibly, going sledding at a friends house - LOVE IT!
So, why are my thoughts so distracted you may ask - I'm wondering that myself. I've got a lot on my mind right now so I wouldn't even know where to start to try and pin it down to one reason. The past few weeks have brought about a lot of emotions - good and bad - and that has created a definite season of unrest in my spirit.
My dad is on my mind a lot lately. Maybe it's because it's his birthday in the next few weeks and I can never remember how old he's going to be. I hate that about myself. I can remember exactly how old I am and my husband but when trying to remember how old my brothers or parents are supposed to be it's all a mystery. I wonder why that is? Even when I try to do the math something just never adds up right.
Speaking of birthdays, not only will it be my dad's birthday but also my oldest brother's birthday. That's right - he's a birthday baby and to top it off he is my father's firstborn son - can you say "Golden Child" fast enough? Seriously folks, he got all the good looks (dark hair, bright blue eyes, a smile to die for), he's tall, he's athletic all added to the fact that he was born ON my father's birthday - my how the mighty are created! I haven't always had a good place in my heart for this brother - you see "N" was not a nice guy when we were growing up. He absolutely knew and took to heart the role of being the oldest to the point that my middle brother "S" and I didn't like him and he didn't like us. That all changed several years ago - THANK GOD! "N" will be 48 years old this year and that's just so hard to believe. But with age comes some mellowing out and I'm just so thankful that "N" is now I brother that I am so honored to call mine.
I've often sat and wondered why things changed between us and, while I may not be able to pinpoint my reasons for my unrest right now, I CAN pinpoint what occurred to cause "N" and I to draw closer together - divorce. Specifically our brother "S" got divorced and remarried for the 2nd time and the circumstances were not good at all. "N" and his wife (as well as my husband and I) were drawn into this divorce because "S" had 2 children whom we DEARLY loved and did not want to lose any contact with them at all. In trying to maintain open lines of communication between "S" and his ex-wife and ourselves, "N" and I had to actually communicate with one another for the first time as equals instead of "Big Brother" talking to "Little Sister".
It started out rather innocently - "N" called me on a Sunday afternoon on our way home from church. Because of all that was going on in our family at the time I really didn't think anything about the phone call other than he was just giving me some news about my niece and nephew - no big deal. The change was this - he told me he loved me before he hung up and he had never done that before.
He was off the phone before I had a chance to compose myself enough to respond in like manner to him and I was absolutely dumbfounded! I mean, I had spent YEARS trying to get some type of relationship started with this man and NOTHING had ever come of it. I felt doomed to being relegated to "little sister" status my entire life in his eyes - never an equal. I had often envied my mother's relationship with her siblings (all 6 living and her memories of her brother who was deceased) because they just seemed to click and I didn't see that happening with my own siblings. But suddenly, here was this man, whom I had known my entire life, telling me he loved me and opening up like the blossom of a new-born rose and the beauty of it was amazing!
That phone call started something for both of us that day. Suddenly I went from hearing from "N" once in a blue moon to receiving a phone call at least once a week and ALWAYS hearing him tell me he loved me before the phone call ended. A lot has happened in both of our lives since then - I became a mom, he became single himself again, we have a 3-year old nephew from our brother "S" along with the gorgeous 16-year old nephew and beautiful 19-year old niece we already had from "S" and he has a beautiful new woman in his life that makes him happy and allows him to have a right relationship with all of his family. "S" and "N" have made up as well and have become something I never thought would happen for them...friends...and that is like icing on the cake.
So, I guess this post, rambling as it is, is a shout-out to my dad and brother whose birthday occurs in just a few weeks. I love you both so much and I thank God daily for having been privileged enough to have had you in my life. And for the record, my dad will be 77 and "N" will be 48 and yes, I had to use a calculator to figure that out but it's okay - they still love me!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
2010? Already? and already FEBRUARY???
Okay - so what happened to the past 6 months? The last time I posted a blog on here was August.....2009 and now it's February 2nd.....2010!!!! How does time move so fast???
WOW - there's been a lot happen since my last blog. If I remember correctly I was sending my son off for his first day of 6th grade and he was 11-years old. This morning when I woke him up I was waking up a 12-year old and he's been twelve for 2 months today :)
On top of waking up the 12-year old I also now wake up a 9-year old that has been in my home since Labor Day!!!!! I told you, lot's of things have happened.
T is a great little boy and that is exactly what he is all BOY. He likes to ride his bike, the more mud to ride in the better. He likes to play with his cars and he likes to rough house with my 12-year old and the husband. He does NOT like to take baths or eat his vegetables and FORGET about going to bed early - that's for sissy's :)
We've had a great time with T in the house - he is however a foster child and not permenant at this point in time. A lot of stuff will have to happen in the legal arena before T would ever be available for adoption - if ever. But, right now he is a part of our family and that is how it will be until the day he leaves my home.
So, how have the past 6-months been for you and yours? Good I hope!!!! Just to make this short and sweet I've listed out a few highlights of the past 6 months for you - here goes :)
WOW - there's been a lot happen since my last blog. If I remember correctly I was sending my son off for his first day of 6th grade and he was 11-years old. This morning when I woke him up I was waking up a 12-year old and he's been twelve for 2 months today :)
On top of waking up the 12-year old I also now wake up a 9-year old that has been in my home since Labor Day!!!!! I told you, lot's of things have happened.
T is a great little boy and that is exactly what he is all BOY. He likes to ride his bike, the more mud to ride in the better. He likes to play with his cars and he likes to rough house with my 12-year old and the husband. He does NOT like to take baths or eat his vegetables and FORGET about going to bed early - that's for sissy's :)
We've had a great time with T in the house - he is however a foster child and not permenant at this point in time. A lot of stuff will have to happen in the legal arena before T would ever be available for adoption - if ever. But, right now he is a part of our family and that is how it will be until the day he leaves my home.
So, how have the past 6-months been for you and yours? Good I hope!!!! Just to make this short and sweet I've listed out a few highlights of the past 6 months for you - here goes :)
- T came to live with us in September
- We went camping
- We went on a hayride with friends for Halloween
- We carved a pumpkin and went to a local church for candy Halloween night
- We went to my hometown to visit my parents and family for Thanksgiving. Social Services even let T travel with us!
- C celebrated his 12th birthday in December
- Both my husband and I celebrated our birthday's in December as well as our wedding anniversary (LOVE MY MAN!)!
- We had an AWESOME Christmas at home
- We went on a short day trip to celebrate New Year's
- 2009 left and 2010 began
- My oldest friend in the whole wide world was diagnosed with breast cancer but God has intervened and there are no signs of cancer after her surgery!!!!
- T turned 9 in January
- We had 6-inches of snow - beautiful white, fluffy stuff that made the whole weekend fun!!!
I'm sure there is more but that's the gist of how the past 6-months have gone. Hopefully it won't be 6-months before I post again but just in case, know this, GOD IS IN CONTROL OF ALL THINGS!!! There isn't a day that goes by that God has to slap His forehead and say, "wow, I didn't see that coming"!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
THOUGHTS AND PONDERINGS...
I just watched the video of the reunions of Laura Ling and Euna Lee with their families and have found myself gripped with emotion. Why? Why did my viewing of these two women hugging and kissing their spouses/significant others, children, mothers, fathers, siblings illicit such emotion from me?
While watching the video I found myself drawn back to, what I thought, was a simpler time but in the light of day perhaps that "simpler time" wasn't so simple.
I'm sitting in my 7th grade Social Studies class in a north Georgia middle-school. I'm younger than ALL of my classmates - some by almost a full year - but that didn't matter - I was also the tallest girl in school - skinny, looked like a boy flat-chested - but tall. Being from a small north Georgia town - heck being from ANYWHERE in Georgia at this time was a great thing! Why? Jimmy Carter was THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!!! We thought we had arrived because someone with roots deeply buried in the red clay of Georgia was the most powerful man in the free world (not forgetting that President Carter was from Plains, GA and the red clay....not so much down there).
Anyway, I'm sitting in Social Studies and we had just received the "State Approved" television set that was going to broadcast special news programs specifically set-up for middle school Social Studies classes because....JIMMY CARTER WAS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!! The very first day, the very first newscast was with regard to the Iranian hostages that had been taken, more accurately it concerned the failed rescue mission "Operation Eagle Claw". Our President, Mr. Carter himself, had approved the use of military force and it had failed, miserably, resulting in the deaths of eight of our military personnel. They wouldn't be coming home again.
The lives of 28 pre-teen/early teenage boys and girls was forever changed. Suddenly we had been forced to deal with the fact that not everyone LOVED the United State of America. Along with that came the realization that these same people were not afraid to go to severe lengths to express their disdain and hatred of my homeland.
I think I caught my breath that day and, without realizing, had been holding it deep inside until today - today when I saw freedom regained and arms holding the ones they held dearest.
Does this mean that for the past 30 years I've been sitting around waiting for the other proverbial "shoe to fall"? No. Life got back to normal - there were dates and stolen kisses and butterfly's in my stomach when he held my hand for the first time. There sitting up all night with my best friends and watching fireworks on the 4th of July with my cousins and eating homemade ice cream and praying for snow in the winter - all quite normal. But today, August 5th, 2009 I felt something inside let loose when I saw a mother drop to her knees to hold her child and I saw a child wrap her mother in her arms and not let go for a long, long time.
Hold those you love close tonight - tell them how you feel about them - don't let another opportunity pass to let someone know just how special they are to you and remember, freedom isn't free at all - great prices have been paid for it all thoughout history.
If you haven't had the opportunity to view the video I urge you to do so - simply go to CNN.com and it is there.
SONGLIST FOR THE DAY:
"How Great Is Our God" - Chris Tomlin on "Arriving" Sparrow Records
While watching the video I found myself drawn back to, what I thought, was a simpler time but in the light of day perhaps that "simpler time" wasn't so simple.
I'm sitting in my 7th grade Social Studies class in a north Georgia middle-school. I'm younger than ALL of my classmates - some by almost a full year - but that didn't matter - I was also the tallest girl in school - skinny, looked like a boy flat-chested - but tall. Being from a small north Georgia town - heck being from ANYWHERE in Georgia at this time was a great thing! Why? Jimmy Carter was THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!!! We thought we had arrived because someone with roots deeply buried in the red clay of Georgia was the most powerful man in the free world (not forgetting that President Carter was from Plains, GA and the red clay....not so much down there).
Anyway, I'm sitting in Social Studies and we had just received the "State Approved" television set that was going to broadcast special news programs specifically set-up for middle school Social Studies classes because....JIMMY CARTER WAS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!!!! The very first day, the very first newscast was with regard to the Iranian hostages that had been taken, more accurately it concerned the failed rescue mission "Operation Eagle Claw". Our President, Mr. Carter himself, had approved the use of military force and it had failed, miserably, resulting in the deaths of eight of our military personnel. They wouldn't be coming home again.
The lives of 28 pre-teen/early teenage boys and girls was forever changed. Suddenly we had been forced to deal with the fact that not everyone LOVED the United State of America. Along with that came the realization that these same people were not afraid to go to severe lengths to express their disdain and hatred of my homeland.
I think I caught my breath that day and, without realizing, had been holding it deep inside until today - today when I saw freedom regained and arms holding the ones they held dearest.
Does this mean that for the past 30 years I've been sitting around waiting for the other proverbial "shoe to fall"? No. Life got back to normal - there were dates and stolen kisses and butterfly's in my stomach when he held my hand for the first time. There sitting up all night with my best friends and watching fireworks on the 4th of July with my cousins and eating homemade ice cream and praying for snow in the winter - all quite normal. But today, August 5th, 2009 I felt something inside let loose when I saw a mother drop to her knees to hold her child and I saw a child wrap her mother in her arms and not let go for a long, long time.
Hold those you love close tonight - tell them how you feel about them - don't let another opportunity pass to let someone know just how special they are to you and remember, freedom isn't free at all - great prices have been paid for it all thoughout history.
If you haven't had the opportunity to view the video I urge you to do so - simply go to CNN.com and it is there.
SONGLIST FOR THE DAY:
"How Great Is Our God" - Chris Tomlin on "Arriving" Sparrow Records
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
AND SO IT BEGINS...
Actually, that isn't right - the story started 40+ years ago in a small community in north Georgia on a cold, rainy, early December day but, you REALLY don't want me to start there. So then, the question is where to start?
From the beginning? Nah - too long ago.
From the middle? Nah - too confusing.
I guess I will simply start with - right now. Today is, Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 and I have officially launched my own personal blog titled "born as a family..."
Weird title I know but so appropriate for my life. Hopefully over the next little while I'll have the opportunity to share all of the stories I have locked up in my head but at this time, we will simply start with....now.
I'm getting ready to send my son off to 6th grade and he is so excited and that makes me GLAD! You see, my son is God's gift to my husband and I. Infertility robbed us of the opportunity to become birth parents to a child but God gave us the opportunity to be 2nd parent's to a BEAUTIFUL boy......... "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy" - oh sorry, I slipped into a John Lennon moment there :D
Anyway, "The Boy" as we shall call him for the duration, is excited for one simple reason. What might that reason be? I'm glad you asked! See, when I asked "The Boy" why he was excited I pictured all kinds of responses, "it's middle school", "it's a fresh start", "it's changing classes", etc., etc., etc. SILLY ME!!!! He's excited because there are lockers.........
So, if you tuned in, welcome to my little life and I look forward to our adventures together. I'll leave you with this thought, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6
p.s. I love music! I love to sing it, listen to it, dance to it, whatever so, from time to time I'll be sharing what music I am currently listening to.
SONG LIST FOR TODAY:
"Free To Be Me" - Francesca Battistelli - "My Paper Heart" on Fervant Records
"The Motions" - Matthew West - "Something To Say" on Sparrow Records
From the beginning? Nah - too long ago.
From the middle? Nah - too confusing.
I guess I will simply start with - right now. Today is, Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 and I have officially launched my own personal blog titled "born as a family..."
Weird title I know but so appropriate for my life. Hopefully over the next little while I'll have the opportunity to share all of the stories I have locked up in my head but at this time, we will simply start with....now.
I'm getting ready to send my son off to 6th grade and he is so excited and that makes me GLAD! You see, my son is God's gift to my husband and I. Infertility robbed us of the opportunity to become birth parents to a child but God gave us the opportunity to be 2nd parent's to a BEAUTIFUL boy......... "beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy" - oh sorry, I slipped into a John Lennon moment there :D
Anyway, "The Boy" as we shall call him for the duration, is excited for one simple reason. What might that reason be? I'm glad you asked! See, when I asked "The Boy" why he was excited I pictured all kinds of responses, "it's middle school", "it's a fresh start", "it's changing classes", etc., etc., etc. SILLY ME!!!! He's excited because there are lockers.........
So, if you tuned in, welcome to my little life and I look forward to our adventures together. I'll leave you with this thought, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6
p.s. I love music! I love to sing it, listen to it, dance to it, whatever so, from time to time I'll be sharing what music I am currently listening to.
SONG LIST FOR TODAY:
"Free To Be Me" - Francesca Battistelli - "My Paper Heart" on Fervant Records
"The Motions" - Matthew West - "Something To Say" on Sparrow Records
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